Controlling The Outcome Of Your Divorce
If you go into the divorce process with the right attitude, your actions can affect the way you come out on the other side. Divorce can either be a gut-wrenching experience or a fresh start; it all depends on the way you look at it. If you just stay passive and let things happen on their own, you may find yourself financially harmed and more stressed out than ever. You can affect a change, not only for yourself but for your children as well, if you take heed to the 3 suggestions below that could lead to smoother, healthier divorce process for all.
1. Seek help before you push the "divorce" button: If you and your spouse have not attempted to resolve your marital issues, marital counseling can be just the thing. There is too much as stake to walk away without giving it a try. Even if you have already tried to make things better with counseling, divorce can be made better by a couple who has already been through therapy. This activity can enhance communication, negotiating, compromising and honestly, all good qualities to apply to a divorce situation. The family court system also supports this idea; in some locations marital counseling is a requirement before the divorce is final.
2. Keep the door to communications open throughout the process: This is no time to clam up and complain about how you've been "done wrong". Save your emotions for the therapist and let your spouse in on the situation as soon as you know that your relationship cannot be saved. In is within your power to set the stage for good communications during the divorce process, and everything that you two can agree on is one less issue for divorce court.
That being said, if you are in danger due to a violent situation, take protective actions. Speak to law enforcement and have a safe place to flee if necessary. Never leave your children or a pet with a violent spouse, you are just providing them with a lure to bring you back to danger. Be especially wary about spouses who are controlling, violent, abusive, participate in criminal activities, and that abuse drugs and alcohol.
3. Keep a civil attitude toward your spouse: If you set the tone for a contentious court battle, only the attorneys will win. Don't allow your emotions to rule the way this divorce proceeds. Instead, be respectful and thoughtful, regardless of how you might feel or how much you might be baited to respond in kind. Not only does staying civil to each other create a kinder, gentler divorce, it also protects your child from the very adult situation of divorce. When it comes issues about children, emotions can overheat, but that is exactly the time you need to take a cool and smart approach to custody, support and visitation. Remember, in most cases divorce is not going to be the end of your spouse/child relationship, so form a good platform going forward to deal with whatever parenting plan you create.
Speak to a divorce law attorney as soon as possible to get started on your fresh start.